I am here because I am a young, smart, dedicated mother of 2 very smart loving kids. I have come to a point in my life where the man that I trusted with our lives just decided to leave us with nothing. It is sad because he controlled everything and could care less about me and our kids well being. I have been a stay at home mother and I do not have any unnecessary bills. All I have is rent, utilities, food, car insurance and very little money for anything else. I want to go back to school to make something of myself but there are other things that stand in my way. I need a job but no one here will take a chance on me because I havent worked and I have no experience. I need money for everyday living and it makes it harder when I want to work and go to school and then I need money for a babysitter that I can trust with my kids. I am just so stressed that I cannot provide the things that I need for my kids. I here all the time about people going into debt and well I dont want to do that to myself or my kids. I want to have some stability for themand myself but it seems like I am getting nowhere and well the money that I still have will not last long. I am not sure what I am asking for I just know that I need help. I want to find a job at home but I cant invest the little money that I have. I have sold alot of my things to make more money and well that in itself makes me sad. I just really need something to help me get by. I would really love it if this site is real and well I am not afraid to talk to someone that is real and not looking to add to the stresses that I have. I am just so afraid that my kids will have to see the harsh realities of. I want to give them a roof over there head but I can only afford a few more months and I really dont know what to do. I just dont want them to feel in secure. I want the simple things in life but no one is willing to give me a chance to prove myself to them. Life is hard but it seems to want to keep me down rather than letting me and my family prosper.

 I have a list of things that I "WISH" I could have but then again I am not to lazy to make my wishes come true. I just need some help to be stabel enough to give my kids a home.I live in a small apartment and well to better understand my situation I am pretty much living off of 1500 a month and my rent is more than half that amount. I cant get a deposit for another place and well where I live it is a really reasonable price. My landlord is really nice and understanding but he is also struggling and well with 2 kids and we dont go shopping alot. Me and my kids have all second hand things, we eat canned goods most of the time, and we just spend time together so the good thing is that my kids dont need the fancy things to make them happy. They do want the new things but they know that I cant give it to them because I dont have the money. I would love to give them the nicer things for their birthdays and holidays but I cant sacrifice the money in that way. I am just feel so inadequate at times. I want to give them extra things because they are smart and deserve them but everything is so pricey. We rarely go to mcdonalds and when we go we only get the dollar menu thing and we go where we can get free refills. I mean that is a good thing but to have to explain to my little ones that I cant do more because mommy dont have the resources really makes me depressed. They dont know the things that I have to struggle with and I hope they never know but they see it and ask questions and I have to try and tell them something else that is positive. It becomes torture at times when they see the things that others recieve and how others indulge in the luxuries of life.

ADDED this on May 10,2008

I am really looking forward to making a life with my kids but now I am trying to find some grants that I can apply for so that I can go back to school. I am having a hard time getting a job and finding needed help. I would really love it if people could help me financially but that is a dream in it self. I understand that people dont know if I am real or not but all I can say is that I am and if someone is generous enough to help me out they would be doing a great thing. I would be happy with 5 dollars I mean every little bit helps. I have really changed so much in my life to make a honest life with my kids and it hurts me that I cant give them the things that once had. They understand the situation a little but it still sucks for them because they are so young. I want to give them some security but here in hawaii it is quite difficult. I dont know what can help me but I just really dont want to go in to debt so that is why I am asking for help before we have to suffer more with those things. I am a open person and real as can be. I am not lying and well I hope that a decent person is willing to get to know me and my family enough to see that I am not scamming anyone. I really want grants for schools and I just dont know which ones are legit. But if anyone just wants to help me in monetary things that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this and I hope that there are generous people out there that would like to help me and my kids in our time of need. I know there are alot out there and i probaly dont have a really hard story but I just dont want my kids to have to suffer a moment of hardships. Please feel free to respond. Thank you again